FiveTone

Thermalize Yourself!

2007-11-09T19:41:00.000-08:00

Thermalize Yourself!

They're warm, they're stylish, they make great layering pieces, what more coud you want! Check out the new thermals from Macabre, Don't Tread On Me, and Lipstick Prophets.

We've also got lots of new items from EC Star, Switchblade Stiletto, and Sailor Jerry.

Get $5 off any order over $25 by entering this coupon code at checkout: thermalize

New Rock Rebel and Sailor Jerry

2007-09-07T14:52:00.000-07:00

Howdy Rockers!

Just in are some rockin’ new styles from Rock Rebel, and from the granddaddy of tattoo artists, the man who taught Don Ed Hardy how to hold an ink gun- Sailor Jerry.

For women, we've got new dresses and t shirts, including a few exclusives which are not available on the Sailor Jerry website. Or how about a new bag to match your fabulous new dress? Well you’re in luck ‘cuz we’ve got everything you need.

For men we’ve got some cool new Sailor Jerry tattoo t shirts, and western shirts. We also have some new Rock Rebel belts and AWESOME buckles in stock too, which would look mighty fine with your new Sailor Jerry western shirt. Now all you need are some Sailor Jerry playing cards, some Sailor Jerry Pint Glasses, and you've got yourself a party!

Don't forget, shipping is FREE for purchases over $75!

See ya later partner!

Free Sunglasses With Every Order at FiveTone.com

2007-08-11T12:42:00.000-07:00

For a limited time we are including FREE SUNGLASSES with every order. We have over 600 pairs to give away. These are not chintzy sunglasses either- these are stylish frames from Incognito and Blue Gem that sell in our retail store for $15 to $20.

We have many styles to choose from: aviators, oversize, vintage, cat eye, fake designer, sporty, raver, hot rod, rockabilly, and more. Our stylist will select a pair that matches your purchase, or you can email us with your request. Your sunglasses will be packed and added to your order automatically.

-Shop for Women's Rock & Roll Clothing

-Shop for Men's Rock & Roll Clothing

Don't forget, shipping is still FREE for purchases over $75!

Pabst Blue Ribbon

2006-03-19T13:20:00.000-08:00

My first love was Pabst Blue Ribbon. She came out of the woods, in the hills, from a keg, into a plastic cup that cost me five bucks. I'll never forget when I first gazed into her sparkling blue eyes, and her frothy lips met mine. It was love at first sight.

We pledged to love each other forever and ever, but I guess it wasn't met to be.

In a moment of juvenile stupidity, I hooked up with a girl named Mickey's. I don't know why I did it; I knew it would be nothing more than a one night stand. She was such a slut, with that big sexy mouth of hers. It drove me crazy! I had the biggest headache the next day, and I vowed never to touch her green barrel shaped body ever again.

Pabst found out, and it was over for us.

But I was young, so I rebounded quickly. I met a girl named Bud. She was from a good family, royalty no less. The King of beers. Now I was truly dating up.

Bud and I became very close. I saw her every day. Even though her parents were loaded, she was a simple girl, happy to shoot pool and throw darts. Bud wanted to settle down, start a family, but I was apprehensive. I liked her, but I was young and I wanted to live!

So her little sister Bud Light started coming on to me. I have to admit, she was looking good in her coozie on the beach. She was working out, and had really slimmed down.

Bud Light and I became a legendary party couple. She was a model, so her job took us to all the hot spots: Daytona Beach, Cancun, the Indy 500. Quite the jet-setters we were! As her career skyrocketed, we became instant celebrities. You could find us at a trendy spot every night of the week. People constantly wanted to know what we were up to. "Whaasssup" they shouted at us. Even her dog became a celebrity.

When the dog started to get more press than me, I got jealous. I'll admit it. At that point I realized how selfish and superficial I had become.

So I didn't date anyone for a long time. I finished my education, started a career, moved downtown. I didn't need a woman in my life.

Then one day as I was walking down Randolph street, I met Wine. She was the most beautiful, smart, and sophisticated woman I had ever met. We accomplished great things together, and complimented each other so well. She moved in with me and we experienced a love so deep, so profound, that I asked her to marry me. The day she agreed was the best day ever.

A man flush with confidence will grow complacent. That's when the spirits come calling. Weakly, I couldn't resist them. The first was a leggy blond from Sweden named Absolut. Then there was a kinky Russian girl, Stoli, who liked to dress up for me. Sometimes she'd wear nothing but orange, vanilla, or raspberry flavored lingerie. Then there was a Polish girl, Belevedere...Oh man those Polish girls are sooo gorgeous!

But the spirits are a cold hearted bunch. They just take and take and never give. I lost everything with them: my job, my business. Wine left me. All of my cranberry juice and red bull was gone. The evil spirits spent all of my money and left me with nothing but a shriveled up slice of lime. They sucked the life right out of me and moved on to the next tool. It took awhile to get over them.

Right now I'm content to be hanging out with Heineken. She's a hotty. We have a very progressive relationship. She doesn't mind if I have a taste of Goose Island, Bells, or even Fat Tire once in awhile. I'm sure she's doing the same, we just don't tell each other about it.

Wine married a rich doctor, but we still talk. She's the only girlfriend I've remained friends with after breaking up. I guess that means I'm growing up.

I still think about Pabst Blue Ribbon. I saw her in the store one day and I wanted to say hello. I heard she got married, moved out to the country, had two kids. I heard she wasn't happy out there. I always wonder how different my life would be if we had stayed together. Pabst, if you're out there, lets talk!

Top 5 Beers in 2005

2006-01-18T14:24:00.000-08:00

1) Piece Dysfuntionale

MTV fans might remember Piece as the pizza place where a bunch of insipid hipsters worked in the Real World a couple years ago. I don't, because I didn't watch it. I heard it was pretty boring. Maybe they should have drunk more beer. I won't hold anything against Piece, because they bake great pizza and brew some amazing beer. I mentioned somewhere in a previous blog post that their Dysfunctionale was the best beer I've ever tasted. It's like Sierra Nevada Pale Ale, which is already one of my favorite beers, but raging on hop steroids. Very intense fruity, hoppy flavors made this a gold medal winner in the Great American Beer Challenge.

2) Grolsch

The summer of 2005 was the summer of Grolsch. My neighbor, chef Suzy, turned me on to Grolsch while enjoying the summer on the deck of our building. It's the perfect summer beer: light, lemony, and slightly sweet. It didn't hurt that for most of the summer it was on sale at Jewel for $10.99 a 12 pack, in bottles, sans the cool ceramic swingtop cap. I'm finding that it isn't too bad in the winter either. This beer gets the FiveTone best buy award.

3) Harrisons Black Diamond Stout

I tried many of the fine beers at Harrisons in Orland Park after disc golf last summer. I don't usually like to drink dark beer in the summer, but the Black Diamond Stout really was phenomenal. Even though it was super dark, it went down so easily, almost like an adult chocolate milk shake. Kudos to this fine suburban brewery.

4) New Belgium Fat Tire

I had the pleasure of tasting this pleasant, flavorful, very drinkable beer while visiting one of my disc golf buddies in Kansas City. It's not available in the Chicago area, so I brought a case home. The brewer, New Belgium, makes many other fine beers, so I wish they would get some distribution this way.

5) Goose Island Anniversary Ale

Sadly, not once in 2005 did I make it into the Goose Island Brewpub in Lincoln Can't Park. Dr. Dave and I had plans to go several times, but they always fell through. So, I missed out on the Dunkel Weizenbock, the Bourbon County Stout, and the Imperial IPA. I did however pick up the Anniversary Ale at Binny's, and it was piney, citrusy fantastic!

Honorable mention: I tried a couple of beers from Two Brothers brewery in Warrenville that weren't bad. The Sam Adams Winter Sampler featured more variety last year, adding a tasty Black Lager and Holiday Porter, in addition to Boston Lager, Old Fezziwig Ale, Cranberry Lambic, and Winter Lager.

Beer I miss: My favorite neighborhood pub stopped carrying Leffe, a wonderful blond Belgian ale.

Worst beer: For some reason that I can't quite understand, my Grandma started stocking her fridge with Rolling Rock light. Regular Rolling Rock is horrible enough, but the light is even worse. I love you grandma, but please let me buy the beer!

Fivetone on Rob Pongi, eBay

2005-11-25T14:35:00.000-08:00

Fivetone.com is excited to announce an exclusive sponsorship with RobPongi.com

We spend several hours every day watching RobPongi so we figured, why not sponsor them?

RobPongi.com features high quality videos from Asia, Japan, and Tokyo. Rob and his friend Mr. Sparkle enjoy high tension dance parties in Tokyo.

We're getting into Japanese Geisha Dancing, which we like to practice while packing orders for our online boutique."

In other news, this is what happens to those who steal Fivetone pictures for their ebay auctions

Don't Mess With Brett

2005-11-06T15:15:00.000-08:00

Overshadowed by the White Sox, and now even the Bears, it looks like the Northwestern Wildcats are going to a bowl game!

A pissed off defense and a yet another gutsy performance by quarterback Brett Basanez led Northwestern to a stunning comeback win over the Iowa Hawkeyes, ensuring the Wildcats a bowl game berth.

Two plays after a late hit penalty, Basanez threw the game winning touchdown in one of the most exciting comebacks ever. After the game Basanez said the Hawkeyes were headhunters.

They won't win the Big Ten title though. Penn State, which doesn't even belong in the Big Ten, pretty much wrapped it up with a big win over Wisconsin.

NU's next opponent, Ohio State, killed Illinois 40 to 2, which begs the question: How do you score just two points in a football game?

J Town Real Estate is Hot Says Business 2.0

2005-11-06T14:44:00.000-08:00

This month's issue of Business 2.0 predicts a huge real estate boom in 10 of what they call "megapolitan" areas. J town and Channahon are mentioned as areas primed for hypergrowth:

GREAT LAKES HORSESHOE
Channahon, IL
Instant cities will be popping up at interchanges near Joliet on I-55, the freeway that connects Chicago to Springfield and St. Louis. Channahon’s population and job growth will roughly triple by 2030.

BEST COMMERCIAL REAL ESTATE BET: Joliet, an old steel-mill boomtown on the Des Plaines River and the hub of Will County, is expected to be among Illinois’s fastest-growing towns in the next quarter-century.

Herald News Links To Porn Site

2005-11-04T19:03:00.000-08:00

As mentioned in the angryjolietan, the Joliet Herald Bird Cage Liner is linking to porn sites.

In an article about the resignation of the juvenille jail leader, Friday's online edition featured two active hyperlinks to what they described as "an Internet porn site for foot fetishists." The print edition gave the website URL.

In the interest of public safety, I clicked on the link, but the site had already been removed.

That's a good thing, because just think about the innocent children who may have been exposed to pornography due to the reckless and irresponsible actions of the Herald. Whiteside must be spinning in his grave.

Just wondering if they are getting affiliate comissions for the traffic they send to this site?

Top 5 J Town Dive Bars

2005-11-04T17:14:00.000-08:00

One thing I love about j town is you can always find cheap drinks at one of many dive bars. It seems there's one on every corner. Here are 5 of my favorites:

1) Gippers

It's probably because Tommy always has an ice cold Heineken opened and ready for me before I even make it to the bar that I love this place so much. Or maybe it's the cool tile mosaic, or the slutty hot waitresses. The last time I was there, some fat girls spanked my ass and made me dance with them. One of the few dives where you can dance, which is why it gets #1.

2) Bobby's Tap

Bobby and I go way back. My crazy marine buddy stole the shoe off his foot once. We took it to a party and everyone signed it. Then one time Bobby's nuts got swollen up the size of a cantaloupe and he had to quit drinking. Ask him about it. It's also j town's only gay friendly straight bar, which makes for an interesting crowd.

3) Crow's Nest

A girl I had a crush on called this place gross and disgusting. I was offended because next to the VFW, it's my Grandma's favorite bar. Before she quit drinking, I took Grandma here on Thanksgiving and Christmas, after the rest of the family would wuss out. They haven't changed the jukebox since 1985, which is a good thing. There's a younger crowd late, of course.

4) O'Charley's

An evening in j town is not complete until you make it to O'Charley's, which is usually about 15 minutes before closing. The only thing I don't like is all the faux Notre Dame fans. When NU beat them it was the greatest moment of my life!

5) Joe's Hot Dogs

OK, so it's not a bar, but if you've been on the j town world tour, you'll need to stop here for the tastiest, stinkiest hot dog you'll ever have. You'll see half the bar population you just partied with here anyway, but you'll have a hard time hooking up with onion breath.

What's your vote for the top 5 j town dives?

Tiga at Stereo

2005-11-04T16:19:00.000-08:00

I got this message from Tiga today:

Hi~

I'm playing at Stereo (Mtl.Canada) on Saturday....

http://www.stereo-nightclub.com/

T

I so wish I could make it to this show. Tiga is so electro, and Montreal is so cool. The other night I was talking to my buddy Chuck about how cool Montreal is; it's like France, but it's only a 2 hour flight away.

Tiga has a great website where he posts his top 10 and his Hot in Here video.

Mike Brown: Fashion God

2005-11-04T10:30:00.000-08:00

Since I'm in the fashion biz, I stay up on all the fashion news, don't you know. So it was that I came across this post at Morons. org:

While New Orleans was devastated, former FEMA director Michael Brown was talking fashion with aides...
Recently release email exchanges reveal that while the people of New Orleans were fighting for survival, former Federal Emergency Management Agency director Michael Brown was busy with fashion tips. In one email to an aide on August 29, Brown said, "I am a fashion god." His aide, Cindy Taylor replied, "You look fabulous - and I'm not talking the makeup!"
Brown replied, "I got it at Nordstroms... Are you proud of me? Can I quit now? Can I go home?"

Other emails show that Brown waited 4 days to respond to an email offering a 42-foot trailer full of beds and medical equipment. When he finally did respond, he asked, "can we use these people?" In response to another email advising him that the situation is "past critical" that "many will die within hours" and that "we are out of food and running out of water at the dome," Brown replied, "Anything specific I need to do or tweak?"

Representative Charlie Melancon is taking Brown to task saying that the emails "reveal that Mr. Brown made few decisions and seemed out of touch. In the midst of the crisis, Mr. Brown found the time to exchange e-mails about his appearance, his reputation, and other nonessential matters. But few of his e-mails demonstrated leadership or a command of the challenges facing his agency." Melancon's district was one of many devastated by hurricane Katrina.

The House committee investigating the response to the hurricane has yet to receive other documents requested from the White House.

What a smug little asshole! This guy had no experience, no right at all to hold this serious position. He was given this job in return for political favors, by a president who is just as incompetent and unqualified.

As I mentioned in a previous post, before getting into the clothing biz, I spent most of my proffesional career making safer workplaces, protecting the environment, and preparing for emergencies. I know these jobs often aren't taken seriously, because there is an attitude that nothing will ever happen.

Well, guess what? It does.

Punk Rock Sox

2005-11-02T09:16:00.000-08:00

I was at Players Bar and Grill when the Sox clinched the World Series. As soon as Uribe fired that laser beam for the last out, they turned off the TV commentary and started playing music.

They didn't play any smaltzy "We Are the Champions" crap. Nor did they play the self proclaimed theme song, Journey's "Don't Stop Believing."

Now, I have to admit that I like 80's music; it's my era. Although I was more into The Smiths, Depeche Mode, and The Cure, I like Journey. "Don't Stop Believing" isn't a bad song. I particularly like that it still has the power to inspire and unite people.

But to me, that song doesn't befit the 2005 World Champion White Sox. There's something too Clinton-esque about it. They are too tough a team for a song like that.

That's why I was so happy when Players punked out to Green Day and All American Rejects. They whipped us all into a frenzy and it was something I will never forget.

How appropriate, I thought, that we should punk out to celebrate the Sox victory. After all, this was a team that didn't get any respect. Like punkers everywhere, they were tough. This team had a big chip on their shoulder, an us against the world attitude that is the essence of punk rock.

And they finally won. So, to all the naysayers, to all the east coast sports media, to all the Cubs fans who didn't pull for us-you can all fuck off!

The Punk Rock Sox are the 2005 World Champions.

Smoker's Arguments Stink

2005-10-25T11:05:00.000-07:00

There's a cafe within walking distance of my apartment that I love; the food is good, the drinks are strong, and the atmosphere is cozy. They know me by name, because I'm there a lot.

There's only one problem with the place: It's too smoky. It seems like everyone there smokes. Sure, there's a "no-smoking" section. It's about 3 feet away from a smoker.

The other night, as I was sitting at the bar, a guy smoking a cigar struck up a debate with the bartender about the possible smoking ban in Chicago bars and restaurants. It wasn't a debate really, because they were both smokers, both clearly against it.

"So what," he said, referring to a recent anti-smoking ad in which a non-smoking woman afflicted with throat cancer claims it was because the restaurant where she worked exposed her to second hand smoke, "she chose to work there."

To my horror, the bartender completely agreed with him, then went on a diatribe against the anti-smokers.

"I've worked in restaurants since I was 13, and I don't have cancer." She proclaimed. "That's like coal miners complaining about getting black lung." She added.

As a non-smoker, and someone who has spent most of his professional life ensuring safe and healthy workplaces, I hear completely ignorant statements like that a lot. Nobody thinks it's going to happen to them.

I felt like telling them sure, you don't have cancer... Yet. Maybe you've just been lucky so far. I guess if in the future you should come down with cancer, then you should just suck it up, accept it. Like the coal miners, you chose to work there. No complaining, right?

And if you think those miners in rural Pennsylvania or Virginia have a lot of employment options, then you obviously haven't been there.

Eric Zorn brought up a good point in the Tribune last week: Smokers are complaining about the city trampling their rights, some even calling it fascist, but what about everyone else's right to clean air? What about our right not to breath your toxic, carcinogenic, stinky, smoke?

Look, nobody's taking away your smokes, just go outside so the rest of us don't have to suffer!

What this argument is really about is a matter of convenience. They object because it's just too inconvenient to smoke outside. Awww, poor things, huddling outside, smoking in the cold. Cue the violins.

I finished my drink and the bartender asked if I wanted another. "No," I said, "I have to leave, it's getting too smoky in here."

In fact, since I'm a bachelor, and this place is so close, I would probably eat there every night if it wasn't so damn smoky. As it is, I limit my visits to once a week or less. When I go, I have to make sure that I don't wear nice clothes, because they'll stink when I leave. When I get home, I have to wash the stink out of my hair.

Because of what I witnessed that night, I just can't in good conscience support that cafe any longer. The bartender made it very to clear to me that this was a place that didn't care about non-smokers, and there are plenty of other places in the neighborhood where I can spend my money. Even though it's so close, comfortable, and good, I will never, ever go back.

So, to all of you in the bar and restaurant industry who are so adamantly opposed to the smoking ban, let this be a lesson: There are a lot people who avoid smoky, unhealthy places. I know I do, and most of my friends do too. If a place is too smoky, we won't go back.

If a smoking ban is enacted, you might lose a few hard core smokers, but you might gain a lot more people like us. I very much believe that the net result will be positive. Trust me, there are more of us than you think.

If you think smokers are a more desirable crowd, because they spend more money, I say you're full of crap! I'll smoke a whole carton if you can show me credible research that smokers are financially better off than non-smokers.

I understand that bar and restaurant workers in Chicago are worried that a smoking ban will ruin their livelihood, but they shouldn't be. Last time I checked, there are still bars and restaurants thriving in NYC and California, which banned smoking.

And we shouldn't overlook the health benefits of a smoking ban. The other night I watched a guy light smoke after smoke after smoke. Just as soon he finished one, he would light another. I kept waiting for a break, but he must have chain smoked ten in a row before I'd had enough and left.

I guarantee he wouldn't light that many if he had to smoke outside. The smoking ban will give a lot of people an incentive to quite, and a whole lot more will cut down.

A smoking ban will make a whole lot of people healthier, those who smoke, and those who don't. I see nothing wrong with that.

Pom Poms

2005-10-23T13:11:00.000-07:00

I had the pleasure of watching the Sox victory at Pom Poms last night. It's not a bad place, good for watching a game because LCD TV's are everywhere, and at good viewing angles.

The interior is nice enough, a mishmash of sports memorabilia, biker, and vintage Americana. One thing I liked: It wasn't too bright, like most of the sports bars in Joliet that cover every square inch of wall space with neon beer signs. We used to joke about the old Heroes and Legends being brighter than the surface of the sun.

I can't say much for the food. We tried a dozen Buffalo wings, and what little meat on them was rubbery. BW3 and even Hooters wings are better. The menu looked a lot like Hooters.

Also like Hooters, the main draw there is the girls. At Pom Poms, the girls have better outfits though. They wear teeny tiny cheerleader skirts and tank tops, no pantyhose, and they are a lot younger and cuter than Hooters skanks. They're also excellent servers, they literally run for your order, though they tend to push the drinks too much. How can they push drinks when they don't even look old enough serve drinks, I thought.

Of course the cheerleaders all get together and do a cheer in the front of the room when the whistle sounds, ala Texas Roadhouse. In fact, they use that same retarded Cotton Eye Joe song, but then they add a much cooler dance number.

The crowd was 99% men. Construction trades were well represented. It's interesting how their Saturday night clothes are the same as their work clothes, just without dust, grout, or tar.

The parking lot at Pom Poms has to be the most fucked up lot ever devised. J towners have always been creative parkers, though, especially when you drive large 4 wheel drive vehicles. So people were parked parallel, on angles, on the sidewalk, double parked, in the ditch, half way on the median, wherever.

But you can't beat going to a place where everybody goes completely nuts for a Sox game. There was one Cub fan who booed when the Sox were introduced. He did not last long.

And what a game it was!

Go Sox!

J Town Happenings: Sapphire, Fieldhouse, Eo Vannus

2005-10-20T10:02:00.000-07:00

I know I'm lame for not posting in awhile, I know I have some stories from this summer to finish, but it's been hectic since we closed our j town store. Boxes are all over my place. I can't find anything. I'm depressed, so I was glad to hear from my friend and former store manager Da'non. He's the Lenny Kravitz look alike you might have seen around j town.

Anyway, he's promoting some j town clubs. Sounds like Sapphire will be the place on Thursday nights soon. By the sound of Emily's blog, Jameson's is starting to dry up and get old. I concur. I stopped there very briefly a couple weeks ago, and even I thought it was old. So, Sapphire will have $1 beers and some good DJ's for once. Check it out.

Fridays are at the Fieldhouse. I don't know why, it's so whiskey tango, but I love this place. It's probably because it's the only place in j town that plays decent house music, and they have cheap, yet extremely potent long island iced teas. Last time I was there I danced with a girl who was going to jail the next morning, so she was getting really tanked. I kept asking her if she killed somebody, but thankfully she said no. Then she showed me her boobs. Nice.

Eo Vannus is the spot on Saturday. I've heard Sapphire is still going strong on Saturday night, but live a little, try something different for once. Eo Vannus is a beautiful club, and they serve mojitos. If you haven't had the icey minty suggary goodness that is a mojito, you need to try one. Da'non will be spinning a nice blend of R&B and house that night, so it should be cool.

There's a good chance I will be there Saturday night. I'll be in town that day playing disc golf, then visiting my Grandma, then going to my buddy Mike's party. I might have to crash on Grandma's couch that night.

If anyone makes it out Thursday or Friday night, let me know how it was.

J Town, We Hardly Knew Ye

2005-08-06T06:57:00.000-07:00

With a heavy, heavy heart I have to tell everyone that our Joliet store is now closed. We're packing up and moving out this weekend.

I'll talk about why we're closing in another post, because I don't want this one to get salty.

Instead, I want to thank everyone who supported us, especially our best regular customer Jeremy, Lisa from the county building who couldn't get enough Dickies Girl, Rich the attorney who did all his last minute shopping with us, and everyone else who visited our store, told a friend, talked us up on myspace, or mentioned us in a blog.

I'd also like to thank all of the local models and makeup aritsts who helped with our photo shoots. Thank you Lisa Lisa, Dainon, Nicole, Alex, Shannon, Audrey, Melissa, Brad, Marco, Sarah, Kimberly, Samy, Renee, Lauren, and the Shankland clan.

Special thanks go to the Will County CED for helping us through our first year.

Man, I really wanted this thing to work. I love Joliet, and I hope that everyone will continue to support downtown j town in particular. To borrow a phrase from Emily, I'll miss my whiskey tango.

Celebrate the independence of your country by blowing up a small piece of it. Part 1

2005-07-12T11:16:00.000-07:00

This years 4th of July weekend was the most action packed ever, even though I had absolutely nothing planned. Geez, where do I start? I could start Wednesday at the Canoe Club with Dr. Dave, or Thursday at Japonais, but both were uneventful, so I'll start with Friday:

Friday morning FiveTone was at the Downtown Joliet Farmers Market. Our table was directly in front of the AIDS clinic, which made for some great people watching. We did shit for business, again, but I picked up some wonderful fresh veggies, and pasture raised organic chicken from Dickman's. Also, the bread from Great Harvest Bread Co. is to die for! We packed up and left town at 2PM, along with the rest of downtown Joliet it seemed.

After a much needed power nap, my friend Paul called me from the new Hard Rock Hotel, where he was in the lounge enjoying a drink with his girlfriend Sarah. I've heard the lounge there is pretty cool, so I hopped on the bus and met them. The lounge is very retro modern, just my style, Paul remarked. I agreed. I was also impressed by the service. The moment I sat down, a very cute waitress was at my side taking my order. She brought me an Effen Black Cherry straight up with a cherry. It was served in an ice cold martini glass, so cold there were tiny slivers of ice floating in the vodka. I love that. What a great start to the weekend!

Also joining us was Sarah's friend Kristin, who is the operations manager for the Hotel. Little did I know that she comped Paul and Sarah a room that night. She offered me one too, but I declined. She comped our drinks too. How nice I thought. Then we headed up to Paul and Sarah's room, got baked, and played a game of "The Price Is Right" using items from the hotel mini bar. For the record, a Snickers bar is $3.50 (Paul guessed $23) and a 6 oz can of Pringles is $7.00 (Sarah won, having the closest guesses on both). The rooms there are very cool. Each has a home theater entertainment center featuring a 27-inch flat screen television with a DVD/CD 5-disc changer, complimentary high-speed Internet access, and maybe the most comfortable bed I've ever not slept in.

After that we meandered through millennium park, briefly checked the awesome bean sculpture and the just as cool aerial photography exhibit, then made our way to see one one my favorite rock n roll heroes, Steve Winwood, at Grant Park. Let me just express my love for Steve Winwood for a minute: I know he went a bit adult contemporary later in his career, but my god, he was 16 years old when he did Gimme Some Lovin for the Spencer Davis Band, then played in Traffic, Cream and Blind Faith. In my opinion, he's right there with Paul McCartney as the best all around musician on the planet. And he was playing free in Grant Park!

Apparently, Paul and Sarah don't share my love for Steve Winwood, because they ditched me 100 feet from the entrance. I went in without them, the crowd wasn't bad, and I ended up dancing with a girl in a Puma jacket like mine. The concert was great. Steve Winwood did lots of great oldies, like Dear Mr Fantasy and Low Spark of high Heel Boys. Too bad you missed it Sarah and Paul.

After that I walked up to the Hyatt Regency to check the new Hard Drive club, but it was only 9:30 and they weren't open yet.

Not knowing what to do next, I walked down Wacker Drive where I spied an empty seat next to two cute girls at the bar at Houlihan's, so I went in and ordered something to eat. Before long I'm chatting with Johnna from Moline, and her friend Deb from Michigan. Like me, Deb used to work at Nuclear Power Plant in Michigan, so there were lots of radioactive stories to swap.

Since they were staying at the Hyatt, we decided to go back to Hard Drive . It was open now, but there was a huge line, a $20 cover, and it it looked to me like a Trojan fest inside, so we bagged.

Instead, we headed up to the Hyatt Regency walkway, where there is a martini lounge. You know it's a martini lounge when you see the giant 10 foot tall martini glass inside. I'm not kidding, it's 10 feet tall. The real martinis are served in similarly oversized glasses, enough for a group of people to share, which was perfect for us. I'm guessing each glass was 64 oz of martini. I thought I was being funny when I asked the waitress for a bigger glass, but then she pointed at the 10 foot tall glass, and I shut up. We got pretty tanked drinking three giant martinis, so it was time to say goodnight to Johnna and Deb, and I walked all the way home, alone, again.

NASCAR Hell

2005-07-07T23:04:00.000-07:00

Tonight was the ever popular fan fast, the kickoff to the big NASCAR race in j town this weekend. City officials estimated the crowd this year at 30,000, but to me it seemed more like 3,000. I thought it was much bigger last year.

Foodwise, the skirt steak sandwich from eo vannus was excellent, as was the lasagna from Belle Amici.

Other than that, there were race cars. They were parked. Every once in awhile an engine would start, delighting the crowd. Many fans went home happy after catching one of the free coolers that were being tossed into the air, cheap coolers, they looked like bubble mailers with straps, but they had Dale Ernhardt on the cover and they said Budweiser. I've never seen such unbridled mayhem to get one. I saw one man collect three. Get er done!

So you'd think with 30,000 people...OK 3,000 people at our doorstep, we might get some business, but we didn't. None. Zip. Nada. My Mom came in. I'd be on suicide watch if we hadn't had 25 Internet orders that day. I'm seriously considering turning 17 E Van Buren into a discount cigarette store. We also could sell bumper stickers with the little boy peeing on the brand of automobile you don't like. They seem to be popular here.

I had planned on meeting Dr. Dave afterwards at Lava Lounge , but he landed himself a hot date, so I checked out Mc Brodys instead. I just missed the ever hilarious Neverly Brothers. Actually, I kind of like rockabilly. I've known Carl, the one with the giant pompadour, for a long time. Did anyone see them on "Check Please" from Raw Bar? Anyway, Mc Brodys kind of sucked. In the main room, lots of old men were smoking cigars. On the patio, lots of dorks were wearing baseball caps. To them I offer three style pointers:

1) Baseball caps belong on the baseball field.
2) Gym shoes belong in the gym.
3) Denim shorts belong in goodwill.

The best song I heard tonight was Back in Black by AC/DC, at which point I briefly broke into a Jerry dance, index and little finger extended, rock and roll style.

Misadventure at Samy's Part 1

2005-07-06T11:01:00.000-07:00

Last Thursday my good friend Dr. Dave and I decided to venture out to Samy's in J-town. Usually on a Thursday night you might find us at Japonais or NoMI, but the unusually hot weather that day caused the passenger side window in Dave's Lexus to buckle and crack. He couldn't get the window fixed until the next day, so he didn't want to take his car into the city. Since I was already in J-town, he suggested we try a local haunt. Naturally, on a Thursday night we went to Samy's.

The trouble started when the bouncers wouldn't let Dave in with his swolley. Even though he never had a problem wearing swolleys in places like Japonais or NoMI, we headed to nearby Target to buy Dave a less intimidating shirt. I guess swolleys are banned at Samy's, due to all the meatheads getting into fights.

Once we picked up a sweet Tab t shirt for $9, we headed back to Samy's, where we parked safely in the mall parking lot. Dave proceeded to the back of his car, opened the trunk, changed his shirt, threw the ignominous swolley in the trunk, locked the doors, and closed the lid.

At this point he realized that he also left his keys in the trunk. Lots of profanity ensued. Doh!

This should have killed our evening, but lucky for us, the passenger side window was buckled and cracked due to the unusually hot weather that day, leaving us enough room to squeeze an arm in and unlock the door.

Of course the alarm sounded as soon as the door opened. Then the cracked, buckled, but still intact window started to collapse, and we struggled to hold it in place. This was futile, as the window finally shattered, crumbling in our hands, and falling in a million pieces onto the mall parking lot.

Now, we somehow had to dig the keys out of the trunk. The alarm is still blaring as Dave dives into the back seat and is able to access the trunk through a small compartment behind the rear seat armrest. He's in now, but we still can't find the keys. I retreive a flashlight from my Jetta and we spot the keys, but we still can't reach them. I then got my snow scraper and we used the long handle to fish out the keys, and then finally silence the alarm. I'm amazed the cops didn't come.

Anyway, we finally got to Samy's, where the bouncers graciously comped our cover. We spent many minutes in the bathroom digging tiny slivers of glass out of our hands. Then on the patio I recognized the lovely Emily from my favorite blog Whiskey Tango-Tales from J-Town and we swapped tales of police blotters past, the origin of the swolley and more.

The best song I heard that night was something by Outkast, you know, the new one. Maybe it was the glass in my hands, but I just couldn't muster a Jerry dance that night.

All things considered, we ended up having a splendid time on a beautful evening in J town.